Cabot Cove Confidential

Why is there a dust covered neck trainer in our basement? Are wild-eyed performer/stuntman/facilities managers still eligible for FLSA protection? Is a road flare as an ignition source over-kill in the desert? Did one mom’s price gun topple a retail empire? And did Damien’s love of Thunderheart positively prejudice him toward this episode?

Why aren’t there any punchlines in the Hatterville strips? When is Jess getting a new lawyer? How does Julia Roberts keep stealing DeVito’s roles? Did Jennie make good use of her Phrogger story opportunity? And will we hear Teddy next time we’re at Cracker Barrell?

Hotel, resturant, pub or other? Is Francis the most qualified and handsome chemist turned ne’er-do-well in town? Would you chance telling Jennie he isn’t? Who wired that switch? Did the perfume stink as much as these clues? And can you pick most locks with a credit card?

Why is Bernie’s name Brynie? Is Artie the only detective in NYC this week? What’s Shaggy doing here? How did Jennie feel about being on call? And how rich could Max really be if he uses the same room for everything?

What does Sally see in Neal? Does Arnold hang with a chimp off camera? How did that key get under that body? Why isn’t it on a keyring? Did Roland Orzabal do uncredited work on ‘Venus’? And can glasses make you Closing Time?

Is negotiation a foreign concept in the MSW world? How many times can one say, ‘Ark Of Steel’? What can our attraction to Nick Nolte tell us about ourselves? Will a ‘Ready For Shreddy’ ever show up in our offices? And when are we going to get to the Slayer episode of MSW?

Why did it take us so long to cover this season? What is a resonable price to have your own Cabot Cove Confidential? Can we stay on track? And when did our CandyMan Hingle Voice get mixed up with our Pirate Voice?

Is the toy buisness really this Machiavellian? Will Damien’s rebrand to ‘Husband’ work? Is Brian a worse co-worker or boyfriend? Who refills that fog machine? How is ths episode so chock full of nothing? Can Pistol Pete overcome his trauma? And why did it take so long for us to get through season 8?

Which Seth will we have today? Where are these extras now? Is Robin Dishman more deadly than a remote control car? Will Jarvis still be able to enjoy chillaxing pita time? How long did JB date Mr Wiggins? And if Mason used coasters, would his killer have gone free?

How many terrible people can you stuff in one house? Would life sized Chia Burt Reynolds be a best-seller, a possible investment, or a stepping stone to salon stardom? Is it worse to confuse Phil for Barney, or to miss a giant handprint while processing a crime scene? Was Blitzen’s barking clue just him asking for treats? And did Alex try to kill Martin just to avoid another bad dinner story?